And You say, “it is I, do not be afraid”
Sometimes I feel like the Lord made it too easy for us.
As I was praying in worship today, all I could say was, “How can you make it so easy God? How can you make it so easy for me?”
Think about it.
Every time we sin, every time we fall and fail and face the fact that we are absolutely nothing without him..all we need to do is turn around.
All we need to do is turn around, and He’s there.
He’s been there, following us, and waiting for us to come back.
all we need to do is turn around.
and he accepts me and he forgives me.
so, I was standing there in service, completely overwhelmed and undone by His grace. Lord, HOW COULD YOU LOVE ME?! HOW IN THE WORLD CAN YOU JUST STAND THERE AND HUG ME AND SAY THAT YOU’RE GLAD IM BACK WHEN IVE DONE ALL THAT I COULD TO DISAPPOINT YOU?!
how can you make it so easy for me?
how can you make it so easy for us?
that all we have to do is turn around.
man, the gospel.
And through it all, Lord, Your love stays constant towards me.
And Lord I consider everything a loss in light of knowing you! There is no other God, no other name that is as glorious as yours. I give you everything Lord, and I will choose everyday to follow you god. I choose to forsake everything lord, to be with you. I throw off everything for the cross so that I may know you God. No longer do I desire to seek your plans for me, the revelations, or the results, but you and you alone. I only seek you, God, for You are more than enough. You, in itself, are more than enough. You are my prize and You are my reward.
I am Yours,
I am completely and wholly yours God.
Today, I had to leave the house super early to tackle meetings on meetings and work and it turned out to be just me and my dad that were awake at this time.
well, My dad woke up because I was creating a ruckus, BUT EITHER WAY.
As I went downstairs to pick up my car keys and leave, my dad in all his bed head glory was getting a glass of water. He called my name before I left and gave me a kiss on the cheek. OH HOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED HAHA. All I could think about on my way to church was how fast things were changing. I remember when it used to be me kissing my dad on the cheek before he went to work and now its the other way around.
and now I told him to kill this GIANT moth on crack that was flying in my room. He came with a back scratcher..possibly the most efficient tool to kill a bug -____- HHAHA. The moth somehow went into my tall lamp and my dad just started stabbing it and left it in the cone to die and burn. He told me that as long as I didn’t see it, it was fine. So now there’s a huge dead moth just in the cone of my lamp..If i look at it at a certain angle, I see its shadow.
Im scared that the moth is gonna resurrect.
As we were driving home from the dodgers game last night, all I could think about was to be with God.
Now, if you know me at all, I love people. I love how they think and act; I love being around people; I love observing people; I love being with those that I love and the moments I share with people are so close to my heart.
Yes, it was fun; the game itself was exciting, the fellowship was great and the people I was surrounded with was even better, but as great as that night was..all I desired in my heart was to be in the presence of the Lord. Wait, before anything though, this feeling is not normal to me actually. When Im with others (because I value them so much), I don’t compare them and the time I spend with them to that of the Gods, and so this burning desire to just be with Him while Im having the freaking time of my life was…so good cause I saw the death of my flesh.
And as I was on my way home with that feeling, I was just so blown away by where I stand now with the Lord than a few years ago, few months ago, even a few days ago.
Lord! You brought me here..
You brought me to a place where I long for Your intimacy more than those of man..and I thought that was impossible. How am I here?! How am I here, desiring to be at the foot of the cross? How am I here with the itch to do Your will? How am I here with you living inside of me?
Lord..How am I here with You?
Why does the God of the Universe, the Alpha and the Omega, want something to do with me, a mere human being, let alone, a sinner?
And for this reason, I thank you for your son. I thank you for the blood that was shed upon the cross. I thank you God, that your love was so great for me. I thank you for the ABUNDANT grace and mercy upon me Lord!
"For you have spent enough time in the past doing what pagans choose to do — living in debauchery, lust, drunkenness, orgies, carousing and detestable idolatry." 1 peter 4:3
Lord I thank you for that very kind of mercy and grace, that although you could have let me continue to live a life separated from you, you didn’t. You could have let me continue to live a life of destruction, but you didn’t. You CHOSE to set me free.You said that the time I spent apart from you was ENOUGH; that my sinful nature was ENOUGH; that my human desires was ENOUGH! You told me no more, and in response, gave me Your redeeming son. You pulled me out of the enemy’s grip and put me in Your own.
Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah
hmm..my favorite bible verse…
i honestly dont know, cause the word is ALL so good.
but i think a verse that impacted me was psalm 46:10 “be still and know that I am God”..Cliche but, when a sister prayed this over me, i had complete revelation in my life.
For the past few weeks I’ve been constantly battling whether or not I should go to missions. Usually it was an obligatory yes along with the calling that God gave me for that summer, but this time it was different, considering I had many more burdens and priorities than usual.
ha, a blessing and a curse.
A couple weeks ago, I believed that God was calling me to go to Bolivia and I had a strong sense that the Spirit was going to drastically shake the grounds of the church there. But then, as time went on, circumstances came up and I thought that it was wise if I didn’t go. So last week, I confirmed that I was no longer going to be part of the Bolivia/Peru team. HOWEVER, the more I prayed…again and the more I thought about it, the more I didn’t want to miss out on what Jesus was going to do there.
So there I was all last night and this morning, asking the Lord for clarity and freedom from my indecisiveness, ha.
And the verdict is: im going.
But, in a different way.
Not physically, but spiritually. Cliche, but an important concept that we always overlook. The Lord has blessed me with a job that makes more than enough money for a freshman college student like me to live off of and has really been teaching me about stewardship this past year. And so, he convicted me to really sow into His kingdom.
No longer the usual $20 support (which is great), but the support with the immense trust in God and the obedient Men and Women that He has called to go to go out into the nations.
As a daughter and woman of God..with money (haha) ..I hold the responsibility to sow into the kingdom. And so, through this I will be used by God. It is through this that the Gospel can go just that much further. This money isn’t mine to begin with anyway! haha
"the key to possession is to give it away"
So, I guess it looks like I’m going to multiple places this summer…